Many of you know that I have many opinions about love, relationships and sex. I'm not against any of the aforementioned...in fact I hope to find love, and that will lead to the others.
The problem with so many people I know is that they confuse love and attraction. People use the word "love" too loosely and that makes it lose it's meaning once you finally find that person that you truly love. Also, people use sex as a cornerstone of their relationships. Sex is not supposed to be abused like it is today, with people having multiple partners with no relationship between so many of them.
I have a friend that has been absorbed in sex, love and relationships since we were teenagers. She has had a few serious relationships, but wonders why none of them work out for too long. I think it's because she hasn't actually been in love and her relationships revolved around sex (among other things I have opinions about). She is currently fighting for custody of her oldest daughter, going through a divorce with the father of her twins, and living with the father of her youngest daughter.
True, I'm not in a relationship right now...and I'm a virgin...and not sure if I've ever been in love before. I have had relationships though and they ended in a mutual decision (none of that high school crying drama that so many other girls went through). I'm still friends with most of my ex-boyfriends because we have respect for each other. We built our relationships on things that relationships are meant to be built on....respect, loyalty, friendship...and yes, attraction. When a relationship like that ends, it shouldn't be a heart breaking event because you know that you weren't right for each other and because of the respect you have for one another, you truly want the best for the other person.
I think that sex should only come into the relationship when you TRULY know that you love the other person and there is a commitment to be loyal to each other. There are people (even some of my friends) that think that my opinions are prudish but I think they are the way things are supposed to be. I'm not saying that every time you have sex it should be candles, rose petals and romantic music...but it should be an event that you put your whole self into...physically and emotionally. So many people that I know only put their physical selves into it, when making love should be an emotional experience as well. When you have sex, I believe that it's a way to express your love (not prove it).
Anyway...enough of that. Just got on my soapbox for a minute.
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preach on, sistah!
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